Saturday, May 7, 2011
“Life is my college, my sisters are my heart"
I have never felt so at home. I have people who will spend time with me, people who will drop everything and run to me when I'm in trouble, and people who accept me. It's college, more importantly Phi Mu. They are my everything.
And now, I've done it. I've finished my first year of college. It feels too soon. I don't want to leave. I've grown so attached to this place. I actually went and took a walk last night because I wanted to see everything before I left.
I'm not leaving for good. I'm not graduating like some of the other people I know.
So why do I feel this way?
It's because I feel at home here, on this campus, that I don't want to leave. I feel like I am Home.
Shouldn't home be where you are with your friends and family? I feel bad saying that I feel more comfortable here rather than at home with my real family. But how can I avoid the truth?
People say you are happiest at home, and right here, I feel the happiest I've been in a long time. I've met so many people who have had such an impact on my life.
And now I don't want to leave them.
I know I will see them again, but I can't shake this feeling.
As I sit in my Big's room on "my" bed, I look around and watch her pack up her belongings. Memories of the two of us, and others as well, that I won't get to see for awhile. And as I watch her pack neatly into a box some of the pictures I've colored her, door decs I have made, and pictures of us, I think of the times I spent in her room before I was an initiated member. The times when I wasn't yet part of her family.
Looking back, I question myself as to why she continually let me visit her room and stay so long.
Was it because she knew that I was going to become a part of her family?
Was it because she couldn't be mean to me because I was still only a Phi?
But I believe that it was because her and I connected on a special level.
Not like a best friend. Also a sister. Partially mother-daughter like. But also a mix between all of them. I call our relationship "Love" Because we are always there for each other, spend alot of time for each other, and can be there in a instant if we suspect something is wrong with the other.
I love everyone I have met here. And we will always be together because of Phi Mu.