Thursday, April 14, 2011

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself"

I have this friend who has been in my life for about 2 years. The first time we actually met was one of the funnest evenings I had ever had. They were crazy, and I was crazy. A perfect combination of friends. 

Later on we grew closer and closer. We would text every free chance we had every day. We were totally in sync. Whenever they were feeling down, I was there to cheer them up when they were down. I helped them to believe in them self. But what they didn't realize is what a huge impact they had made on me.

I used to be self conscious about everything. I didn't like myself. I thought that I was weird, and annoying, and that no one other than my friends who I had forever would ever accept me. This person was new to my life and accepted me right away. 

We were to the point of being the closest friends when something happened. Someone else from my life came into theirs. I was heart broken. I had lost my newest best friend to my other best friend. I rarely talked to my new friend and being around both of them made me feel like the third wheel on a bicycle. The left out one.

Months went by and we grew to the point of not even speaking to each other. That was when I suffered the most. I didn't know what to do without my new friend. My old friend and I remained close, until one fateful day I will never forget.

Over the summer, my old best friend and I were hanging out. We were away from our phones and when we came back to them there were text messages and voice mails from the other friend and they were upset with something. Apparently they got a message from me saying I hated them. Neither of us were around to have sent it, so I wasn't sure what had happened. It turned out  that my best friend had told someone to send that text from my phone. I had no clue at the time. I had to explain to my other friend what happened during a 3 hour phone conversation with them the next day. After that, they didn't trust my best friend anymore because they lied alot to them. So that was the end of that....

Or so I thought.

It was that summer time and a bunch of us were at a house and all hanging out. My friend whom I had lost was there and they were talking with two of my close friends. They showed me a text message they got that said it was from me and said some things that I never said. We quickly figured out it was sent from the internet in my name. This caused some problems. I was done with my old best friend. I was hurt too much.

After that summer, i thought things were never going to be the same. We drifted apart, but still occasionally said hi. It just seemed so casual and we never really hung out. I just went through my senior year without them. Over the next summer, a bunch of us started hanging out again. We got together every few weeks, but that person and i still weren't very close. Before leaving for college we had a quick chat about it and then they were gone from me for awhile. I occasionally saw them when I visited home, but that was it. Now I am nearing the end of my second semester in college and it has been one of the worst ever. So much drama, school, and people. I had a very long, but thoughtful conversation with this person yesterday. They never really knew how much they meant to me. They were a HUGE part of my life. And I am glad that they now see that. But now the way they responded yesterday, I am a little bit confused. They haven't spoken to me that way since about 2 years ago. So now I want to know if we will be best friends ever again, or just friends....
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